Blue Fairy

This was really good. I liked how you showed that he has nothing better to do then choose over apples while he is cooped up. It makes me feel sorry ...

Hi I couldn't find that many things to crit about but: "No." he said to himself. She was off limits. Ron would kill him ! Wouldn't him be me because ...

I really like the beginning. It is written really well and makes you almost believe it. It is a good idea to leave the fairy in the place of the ...

Reading chapter two has definitely made me want to read more because I wasn't really sure where you were going with it in chapter one. :D I still don't understand ...

I think you need to slow everything down more and describe whats going on and the surroundings more clearly. You seem to jump in with Javier a bit quickly then ...

I really like this i think you should definitely continue it. I can tell it is going to be good. Watch out for your grammer though :D good luck with ...

Whoah this is really good. I definitely don't mean what happened but the way you laid it out and told everything perfectly. I'm sorry about your dad. :( Does your ...

I'll crit anyway: All of a sudden, the door is flung open, and a girl with shoulder length, red hair peered in, "Have either of you seen a cat, on ...

This is really good. You have explained both sides and have backed them up well with strong points. :D I can't think of anything that you can improve on. good ...

This is great! You are a really good writer :D You have described everything really clearly to build up a good picture in the reader's head. The layout and paragraph's ...

I think you could split this into a few paragraphs so it's easy for people to read. I love how you described the people coming to see her but like ...

I agree with what everyone else has said about the repetitive frist stanza and at the very end the etceteras make it seem like you don't care how you end ...

Awww i feel really sorry for victor now :( But thats a good thing because it means that you've brought across the emotion really well and I thought this was ...

Hi Vierce I really enjoyed reading this. I loved the way you described the setting and the way you showed Louis' actions. :D Now to improve: With little sense of ...

Hi Ghost I don't understand why you have put each sentence on a new line. It looks more like a detailed plan then a story. I know you have a ...